Everything's Not Lost
by pintoxpony
Summary: With the realization that Addison is leaving, Alex finds himself knowing that he has felt something for her all along. When the opportunity arises to sort things out for themselves, will they take it, and just what will happen in L.A.? [AlexAddison]
1. Love Potential

**Everything's****Not****Lost**

**A/N **Okay, so, this is my first ever Grey's fic. O I read them obsessively, but I haven't ever gotten around to writing my own, so if it sucks, well.. y'know, I'll hopefully get better. The sad news of the spin-off (cuz you know, how are Alex and Addison supposed to be together in two different shows, states, and cities?!) inspiredme to write what I think should happen, happy ending included. So, without further ado, onward with chapter one.

**Chapter I: Love Potential**

A fleeting glance around the empty office sent an odd feeling of relief through the pit of Addison's stomach. She held only a single box in her arms (Seattle had never been the plan; nothing of great importance was kept in her office, or her hotel for that matter). A few certificates and awards and degrees in old, dusty frames piled on top of one another and perhaps a staff photo (not that she remembered when it had been taken or why the hell she had kept it). No, the most important of her possessions she kept in the pocket of her lab coat, or her jacket, or whatever she happened to be wearing; it was worn (but it couldn't have been that old, because she knew it had only been taken a little more than a year ago; it was just frail with use and handling). It was canon. An unexpected photo of Alex tending to a neo-natal patient that she couldn't remember the name of. Back in the days when she still wore her salmon scrubs and was still referred to as The Ruler of All That is Evil.

Karev had been tamed a bit since then. He would never lose his rough edge or the way he came on so strong (she prayed he wouldn't, anyway, because he had the makings of a great surgeon. He would be great). But somehow, the rough edges had been sanded a bit by wear and tear and the way a patient seemed to need him. No one can be gruff and angry at the world when they're holding the first baby they've ever delivered (or the second, or the third). How do we get from there to here? So fresh and unscarred. Addison sighed and shifted a bit. The feeling of relief had long since passed, and now she was left with the hollow, empty hole that Alex was supposed to fill. Because that had been the plan. Where had the time gone?

With a last glance around her -- the -- office, Addison exited the room and let the door slam (or shut as hard as it could, becuase all the doors in the hospital had those stoppers that made sure they closed softly enough so as not to disturb the sleeping patients). Seattle Grace was the same as everyday. Nurses chatted behind their desks, doctors came and went, scribbling down notes on patient charts in chicken-scratch handwriting, patients slept and families grieved or rejoiced and Addison was in the middle of it all, yet strangely detached. Because this wasn't a normal day. It was the -- her -- last day.

The last day she would berate Mark for using his interns as personal slaves, the last day she would walk into a patient's room as their doctor, the last day she would ask Bailey to borrow an intern, the last day she would deliver a baby. Sure, there were plenty of babies to deliver in L.A. (come on, it's Hollywood), but still, it was the last day of the last year and a half, and it was a sad thing to know that it was the absolute, absolutely for real last day that she would sneak up to the NICU and "accidentally" find Alex there as well, because they both thought easier and more seriously surrounded by a room full of babies that were struggling to survive. It put things into a different perspective; made her -- them -- look at things at a different angle.

There were no Alex Karevs in L.A.

XxX

Alex lived under a banner of avoidance. When things got bad, he avoided them until things got better, or until they resolved themselves. Some things, though, were unavoidable. Like the fact that a potential love of his life was leaving on a plane to L.A. tomorrow; he couldn't avoid that. He spent all night after the excapade in the supply closet calling himself bad names. When he ran out of words, he would start the list over and again after that, until he fell asleep on Meredith's couch with his textbook over his face and his dreams in a hotel room on the other side of town.

Addison Forbes Montgomery intrigued him like no other woman, no other person, had ever done. She was an amazing doctor; that was a given. She was an excellent neo-natal surgeon. All of her awards said that. But there was something else. The way she communictaed with her patients was as natural as breathing, and that was something he envied deeply. He knew, though, that they all had a unique style of talking to patients. Her's was compassion and understanding, and his was blunt honesty. More than that, there was something about her, an air of elegance, that set her apart from any other woman he had ever dated (okay, so they hadn't actually dated). She was witty and intelligent, she stuck up for her interns and taught them well. She had a talent for keeping her personal and professional lives seperate, even if she had had a fling with him. She was funny and he liked the way she was all curves and skin and softness when he touched her intimately. Oh, and he liked the way she smiled and the way she laughed and the way she bit her lip and tilted her head to the side just so when she was confused or thinking.

So there was something there, he mused. Something more than a physical attraction, and something much more than a professional respect. There was definitely love potential here, and if he didn't love her yet, he knew he would. It was just a matter of time. Alex Karev had a plan. He had two plans. And if the first failed, the second was bound to work. And now, it was time to put his plans into action.

L.A. was much too far away.

XxX

**A/N2 **Okay, so that was chapter one. I know it's pretty short, but bear with me. The next will be much longer. You wanna make me happy? Press that purple button and REVIEW! It won't take more than 30 seconds, and it'll make me happy and motivate me to write more sooner.


	2. Bending the Lines

**A/N **I'm afraid you won't find out Alex's _real _plan until chapter three; first he's gotta test some things. Oh, and this time I actually mean the AddisonAlex label. Lot's of Addisex fluff in this chapter and the next. Please R&R, it'll make me uber happy! And motivate me to write more sooner, so it's a win/win, right?

XxX

**Chapter II: Bending the Lines**

The lines were all too straight in the hotel room. Stacks of boxes (not that many) against the wall, straight and orderly, made her head hurt but not spin. Addison kind of wished it would spin. Unfortunately, she had emptied the liquor cabinet of the suite last week, and she hadn't worked up the courage to order more. No matter how brave and strong Addison Forbes Montgomery may appear, she came from a family of rich, stuck-up prisses who would frown upon her bringing such shame to the family name. Old habits die hard. Oh, well.

The neo-natal surgeon reached to the very back of her closet and folded the last of her clothes into the last suitcase before zipping it up. She couldn't say that she would miss the hotel room that had been her home for the past few months, but Addison was not always so adaptable to change. It had been hard enough to move from Manhattan to Seattle, and now look at her; running away once again to the Sunshine State. Vaguely, Addison wondered if she was being shallow. She had run away from one man that wanted her to another that didn't want her, and was now running away from another that didn't want her as well. Was it worse being shallow for one man or three? _"I prefer Ruler of All That is Evil." _Her voice in the elevator echoed from her first week in Seattle to the present, and she jumped and shoved away the thought. It was natural human instinct to run; Addison Forbes Montgomery was not shallow (or Satan, for that matter).

With a soft, almost inaudible sigh (if anyone had been around to hear it, that is), Addison sat on the corner of her -- the -- bed and reached into the pocket of the coat that was slung over the chair for the next morning. She closed her fingers around the object her hand automatically fished for and withdrew it from the red material, holding it up to the light. Pathetic. Pathetic, that was the word for her. Staring at the picture of a guy she knew she could never have, she knew would never want her. She didn't know what she was expecting, or what she was even hoping for. Her mind was in a jumble of senses, of memories and reveries and why's and what if's. All she knew was that in her inner turmoil, the canon photograph of Alex Karev reduced her inner conflict -- that was threatening to boil over any second -- to a small simmer within her. She still could not remember the patient's name. The word _shallow_ bobbed to the surface of her conscious once more, but she shoved it beneath the tide, same as before.

A soft knock came at her door.

Addison flinched; whoever it was could just leave. She was not in the mood to apologize or say goodbye or cry. A few suspects crossed her mind; perhaps it was Callie. The two had grown close over the past few months, and Addison wouldn't be surprised if she had come to say goodbye. Or maybe Mark, coming to deliver one last speech about why she shouldn't leave before she left. Her heart twisted guiltily at the thought and she silently prayed it was not Mark on the other side of the door.

Another knock, louder, more sharp.

Addison resisted the reflex to call out in answer and chewed down on her lower lip, eliciting a squeak of pain from herself. She tasted the tang of blood on her tongue, metally and salty, but ignored it as she stood and crossed the room, standing before the white door. Another knock, then another. She reached her hand out slowly, grappling with her conscience...

"Addi, open the door or I'll break it down!" came the voice, soft and playful, yet entirely serious. It was Alex Karev; no other voice got to her that way. She fought down the sob that threatened to rise from her stomach and twisted the knob, opening the door only enough to fit her face between the door-frame and the door itself.

"Yeah?" she asked, and cringed as her voice cracked on the simple word. He was posed defensively, and he looked as if he were a tad anxious, the hairs on the back of his neck maybe standing on end. Addison would never know his doubts, though; self-doubt was not something common for Alex Karev.

"You're leaving."

It was more of a statement then a question, but Addison answered anyway.

"Yeah." She realized that the only contribution she had made to this conversation were two utterings of the same word, and though the inflection was different each time, she found the need to add more. "Tomorrow."

He nodded, the movement jerky and unnatural. They stood in compatible silence for a moment, and then Addison swung the door open and gestured him in with her eyes. He shook his head, and again Addison felt the sting of rejection stab through her like a lightning bolt. It was soothed quickly, though, as he reached his hand out and took hers in his own, tugging softly.

"Come on," he ordered softly.

She allowed herself to be led away like a young girl.

XxX

**A/N2 **Next chapter very and completely fluffy, but I think this one was rather cute as well. It's still not that long, I know, but trust me, the next chapter will be. R&R, folks!


	3. Just So You Know

**A/N **SMUT! Consider yourself warned. If you don't like it, you sure as hell are reading the wrong author's stuff, lol. This chapter should be much longer, and here we go! It's Alex's plan! Don't hate me because it's not dirty, lol, but trust me, it's sweet and I think it's Alexy. Alex is not a jerk, I don't know what they did to him in the end of Desire, but he is _not a jerk._ xD Also, I should probably start doing a disclaimer. And it's longer, too, huh?

-Addi (Yes, that is my name, whatdya know? Well, it's Addison, but everyone calls me Addi)

**Disclaimer: **Addison Forbes Montgomery and Alex Karev are property of Shonda Rhymes and ABC. I'm just borrowing for fun.

**Chapter III: Just So You Know**

_Just so you know,_

_this feeling's taking control of me,_

_and I can't help it._

_I won't sit around,_

_I can't let him win now._

_Thought you should know,_

_I've tried my best to let go of you,_

_but I don't want to._

_Just gotta say it all before I go,_

_just so you know._

His hand was warm and worn and dry, but it fit perfectly with hers and she didn't care, because no amount of lotion could save the skin from the ravages of 'scrubbing in'. It was chilly out in the evening air, and she shivered in spite of herself, but only when he wasn't looking at her, because she didn't want him to get the wrong idea (even if it was the right idea and she just wouldn't admit it). When she regained her composure and pinched herself a few times with her free hand (yes, this was really happening, by the way), she fell into step with him, watching absently as their strides matched one another.

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze every once in a while, and not long after they had left the Archfield Hotel parking lot, he had entwined his fingers with her own, and guiltily, she sighed in pleasure. But what was she supposed to do? She had tried to let go, really had, but everytime he let her down, everytime he rejected her and pushed her away, he'd come back and (verbally, of course) pick her up and soothe the ache of what he had left. Like he was the dragon and the knight in shining armor all in one, and it made her head spin (even with the lack of alcohol in her system, and she wondered vaguely if that was where they were going, to Joe's, but they bypassed the bar).

They ended up at the park a few blocks from the hotel. It over-looked a large, artificial lake, but it was beautiful just the same, with the reflection of the full moon over the silvery water. In the distance, the skyline of the city stood, shimmering like a mirage on a desert, the Space Needle reaching up to shake hands with the night. Few stars dotted the indigo canvas, but Addison figured it was all the lights. In New York, you could never see any stars, and she had never been one for camping, so even this miniscule sight made her breath hitch.

She shivered again, and realized that she had left her coat on the chair back in room 1175. The red button-up polo and tight jeans she wore barely sheltered her petite frame at all from the icy breeze that buffeted her fiery curls. Alex slung his jacket over her, though, and suddenly she felt _hot_. Like he had wrapped the Sahara Desert around her, and she felt a blush creep up her neck and spread over her face, turning her cheeks scarlet, and Addison prayed a silent thank you to whoever was up there that it was night, and the man beside her was blind to the fact that her face was turning a very unflattering shade of pink.

"Where're you headed?" he whispered, and she turned slightly to scan his face for any hint as to what he was thinking, but the stony mask was fit perfectly in place. She blinked as the corners of her eyes stung a bit; Addison cursed under her breath, because she was _not_ going to cry anymore over Alex Karev. She had shed enough tears for him to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

"L.A.," she whispered back, because it was a silent rule between them that neither dared break. And because her voice couldn't crack on a whisper. It was physically impossible. She didn't trust her voice to remain strong while his fingers were tracing elegant designs into the palm of her hand, calloused only slightly less than his (and she wondered why; did wrestling callous your hands?).

"What's in L.A.?" he reiterated, and she felt a pang of guilt stab through her heart.

"A fresh start."

"You can't have that here?" He turned to face her, finally, and she didn't know if it was just the shadows playing tricks on her eyes, but there were dark circles under his eyes and he looked _desperate_. Addison had to look away.

"No," she whispered, almost inaudibly. And then he did something she really did not expect. He reached up and took a hold of her chin, tilting her face so that their gazes locked fiercely, cerulean blue on blunt, honest brown (and it fit him well, because that was the one thing Alex Karev had; honesty). And he kissed her. Hard, passionate, forward, and Addison was knocked (verbally) off of her feet. There was no hesitation, no questioning on his part, no fear of rejection. He pulled away within moments and watched her as she regained her breath, gasping and panting, her lips bruised and full with that 'just kissed and hard' look that he loved to see on her, loved to know he put there.

"Alex, stop it! You can't fucking do this to me!" she protested, breaking the rule, and he stood silently as she pushed at him, slapping at his arms. "Just stop it!" The flood gates were opened, then, and she cursed not so silently, now, as a torrent of salty tears slid down her velvet cheeks, trailing dirty tracks of charcoal-gray mascara as they went. He held firm, his arms wrapped around her waist as she sobbed, horrible sobs that wracked her small body. She had given up on her anger and decided to just fall on him instead of slapping at his stomach, at his arms, and Addison was barely aware of the way he nuzzled her neck with his nose, whispering soothing words and rubbing her back reassuringly as she choked on her own sobs. "You can't.. can't do this to me, Alex," she repeated, when her breaths had returned to a more normal rhythm and she was leaning easily against him.

"I'm sorry."

"Is this just a game to you or something?" she went on.

"I'm sorry."

"Because I just can't.. I can't take all of this, Alex, I can't take these blows. I'm not indestructable," she continued, oblivious to him and his words.

"Addison, I'm sorry," he repeated, this time more firmly. He pulled away and grasped her chin again, this time gently, tilting her face toward him. "But I just.. I need time. Give me some time and I can make this work," he pleaded, stroking her hair lovingly, almost tenderly. Another tear slid silently down her cheek as she gently pushed his hand away, stepping out of his grasp, and she wascold again, despite thefact that his jacket was still draped over her.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I don't think I have any time left to give," she said solemnly, not meeting his gaze. They stood in silence for what could have been mistaken as an eternity, though in reality it was only a few minutes. When Addison looked upagain to meet his gaze, she found that he waslooking at her, watching her, and the heat rushed back. God, was it hot in here or was it just her?

"Fine, leave." His voice was not condescending or bitter, but it was enough to make her tilt her head to the side and nibble on her lower lip in that way that made her look positively adorable, and he had to work hard to concentrate on what he was about to say, what he had practiced. "But just so you know, Addi, I love you." He reached forward, then, and brushed a stray red curl behind her ear. "Just so you know, I'm not going to give you up, even if you're two states away, even if it'll cost me a fortune in long-distance calls to talk to you. Because I've made enough mistakes in my life, and I'm not going to lose you because I had to go and screw up yet again. So you can leave Seattle and Seattle Grace, but you can't leave me. I won't let you."

Addison stared, open-mouthed, in what was most-likely a terribly un-ladylike fashion. He smiled softly, twining his arms around her waist and grazing his lips softly against her own. She purred in apparent approval, meeting him the rest of the way and sighing into his mouth. Her arms sub-consciously made their way around his neck (because like I said, old habits die hard), and before she knew it, they were on the ground, laying in the grass, with the only sound around them the crickets and their ragged breaths and the lapping of the waves at the shore. Alex ran his tongue gently over her bottom lip, nipping at it and then soothing the bite again with his tongue. Addison parted her lips to grant him entrance, and then it was a battle of feeling, of touches and kisses and _oohs!_

Alex flipped each button of her polo open with skilled fingers, and Addison was greeted by a gust of cool air on her creamy skin and then the heat and wetness of Alex's tongue as it traveled from her navel upward in intricate patterns and designs, and she moaned through it all, forgetting that they were in a very public place. But for once, Addison Forbes Montgomery didn't care. How many opportunities to get taken on the share of a lake would arise in her life, anyway? And then her bra clasp was undone and Alex took her nipple wholly into his mouth, and Addison thought she could just explode right there, or implode on herself. Alex alternated between sucking and biting, drawing the most exquisite sounds he had ever heard from the throat of his lover.

Addison was on the edge, and with her senses in over-drive, she realized there was much too much clothing remaining between them. Insistently, she tugged at the hem of his tee until he lifted his head and allowed her to pull it up and off, and it sailed away to who knows where (when they were back on Earth they would find that it had landed on a park bench not so far off). Then her pants were off, and his pants, and panties were torn and tugged off and boxers were shoved down, and thank god for the doctor's pockets and the magical condoms. Alex supported himself over Addison, licking at the pulse-point in her neck as he neared her ear. Softly, he tugged on the lobe with his teeth, then whispered softly into her ear. "You okay?"

She nodded 'yes', and he watched her for one more second to make sure she wasn't lying; then he reached down and guided himself into her, and her eyelids screwed shut in the ecstasy of the moment. Alex shifted, entering her slowly, gasping at the wetness and the warmth and the tightness. He waited, then, watching her face for any signs of pain as she slowly adjusted to his large size; not only did he fill her up and then some, but he rubbed in all of the right places. When she felt she was ready, she nodded and he pumped, slowly at first, and with each movement he grazed his lips gently across hers. Addison found herself wondering at his gentleness, the way he was concerned for her before his own pleasure, and couldn't help but smile. She had always imagined him rough and quick in bed. It was a nice surprise.

Soon they were at a more quick pace, and their breaths were turning ragged. Addison locked her ankles together behind him and twined her arms around his neck, certain that she was nearing her climax, and Alex was right along with her. With one last kiss they came simultaneously, screaming their ecstasy into the other's mouth. Alex was the first to recover, and he opened his eyes, blinking, and watched the marvel of beauty that lay beneath him. Her wild, fiery locks framed her gorgeous face beautifully, and her striking features were relaxed in a peaceful way that had him smiling despite himself. She had never looked more beautiful than the way she looked now, her skin layered with a thin sheen of perspiration and her lips bruised and pouted ever so slightly. He wouldn't call her classically beautiful; she was too unique for such a common label. She was amazing, though, and he knew it. Knew that he couldn't lose her.


End file.
